March 15th, 2006

The Daily Situation, Take 2: What I Do

“So, what do you do?”

Sweet Jesus, I hate this question; it infests DC like no other place I’ve lived. I get asked it every time I meet people, be they at or bar, friends of friends, spontaneous conversations in Safeway—hell, ragged old ladies sometimes accost me walking down the street, just to find out what I do. My job lacks the excitement or concise definition of most vocations, so I normally just lie about it.

You Rule, Vietnamese Waxer Lady

My regular waxer was not available and I just could not bear the wild, untamed amazon bush jungle that my, well, bush had become for another day.

So I came to you on my lunch hour, Anonymous Vietnamese Waxer Lady who works at the cheapie nail place. We were mere strangers before this afternoon, but after knowing you only an hour, I feel like I must point out the reasons why you rule.

No more - this is my line in the sand.

Editor's note from Oskar K. Tannenbaum, PhD.
What follows is the last known recorded work of Anthony F., shortly before his disappearence on March 15th, 2006. Researches speculate that Mr. F succombed to his unfortunate habit of overscheduling himself and committing his time to too many people, and left his final words of guidance for mankind on the eve of what he understood to be a potentially permanent descent into madness.